


Here For You

by ViolaWay



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Cute, Fluff, M/M, Secret Relationship, Separation, Whining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 07:39:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolaWay/pseuds/ViolaWay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Separation is hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here For You

The film was not predicted box office success, but that was okay by him. He wanted to stay low profile, for the moment at least. It would do wonders for him when he made his public statement in May, concerning his and Zach's relationship. That was going to be _great_ for his career, he was just sure of it.

 

He reminded himself for possibly the hundredth time not to be so pessimistic. Zach had been out of the closet for years, with only the smallest amount of backlash.

 

It seemed different for Chris, though.

 

He was America's golden boy: blond hair, blue eyes, charming and a definite ladies' man...only, he wasn't. He had a boyfriend, dog and cat at home, waiting to scratch him half to death (all of them). Not an attractive model who lived on a diet of cigarettes and celery. Chris was sure he'd gotten the better end of the deal, here. (Although he still had to deal with cigarettes and celery. But also chocolate. Comparatively, it was more bearable.)

 

He just didn't want the media attention that being bisexual would mean for him. He didn't want to have to campaign for LGBT rights all the time, because he hadn't become an actor to do that. And it sounded terrible, ungrateful, even to himself, but he wanted things to stay the way they were.

 

But he wanted to hold Zach's hand in public, to be able to put his arm around him in interviews. He just wanted it to be the same as if Zach was a girl.

 

So anyway. This film, Anybody Out There, adapted from a typical summer romance novel- Chris had never actually read it, but it sounded horrible. He was playing the male lead (apparently described in the book as being tall and dark, of which he was neither. He often joked that Zach would have been better for the part. What he got in reply was a disgusted look and mumbles about being better as a serial killer.)

 

His character was dead for the entirety of the film, only shown in flashbacks, memories and dreams, and he was thankfully only needed to shoot in New York, as opposed to where the other half of the film was shot, in Dublin. The female lead, Sydney Jones, was (ironically, maybe) in a relationship with a petite, pixie-like girl who visited the set with coffee every morning, blushed whenever Chris spoke to her and retreated to the corner with a book. Everyone else described her as extremely out-going; Chris suspected that she might have a crush on him.

 

(She didn't. She felt guilty because she often ranted about how perfect him and Zach were together to anyone who would listen, and she thought the inference of homosexuality might offend Chris. Apparently, no one had bothered to tell her that they were, well...actually together.)

 

Sydney was lovely, and she was gorgeous, and already- on slow news days- there was speculation about her relationship with Chris (the funny thing was, Sydney went out on dates with her girlfriend all the time. But because they were both girls, it was never seen as out of the ordinary if they held hands or kissed each other on the cheek. Chris envied them.)

"More than friends?" reporters demanded of him. He laughed in their faces.

 

He adored staying in New York. No one paid enough attention to him to realise that he was retreating to Zach's apartment, and that suited him just fine. Remaining inconspicuous was a small comfort amidst the loss of privacy that his profession entailed. The film attracted next to no unwarranted attention, and it was actually a rather peaceful few months for him. Zach was out of work for the time being, so there was a brief respite for both of them from the ever-seeing glint of the paparazzi's camera.

 

When the rest of the team packed up to complete the filming in Ireland, Chris was permitted to remain in New York, to continue his innocent coffee dates with Zach, fingers carelessly tangling over the table. Careless, but happy.

 

"I just got a call from your agent," Zach said one day, phone still in hand. "You've still got a few days here, but then there's promotional tour in England that you need to be there for." His brown eyes were wavering with the sadness that Chris could feel collecting in his own chest.

 

"Can't you come with me?" he asked.

 

"Of course I can't," Zach replied, obviously trying to smile. "You don't want a scandal, do you? And with your pretty co-star there, as well."

 

"She's not that pretty," Chris mumbled. (Of course she was.)

 

"I met her the other week, you know," Zach said, changing the subject. It was tendency he had, whenever the situation felt confronting. Chris would miss all the little idiosyncrasies he had picked up on while living with Zach. "We went to watch that new movie, the one about that couple."

 

"You're gonna have to be more specific," Chris pointed out.

 

"It doesn't matter; I can't even remember the title. The point is: have you spent any time with the rest of the cast, or has it all been consumed by me?"

 

"You haven't consumed anything," Chris mumbled. "Okay, fine, I haven't. I'll go on the stupid promotional tour."

 

"You'll have fun, I promise," Zach assured him, dropping onto the sofa and kissing him lightly.

 

***

Chris was not having fun.

 

Not only did Sydney and her girlfriend (Chris made a mental note to learn what her name was) become at least ten times more cute in the absence of Zach, it was harder to brush off the accusations of promiscuity when he couldn’t quite recall how the pressure of Zach’s hand felt against his skin. He had to refrain from snapping at the arrogance, the presumptuousness, of the reporters, he had to bite his tongue to prevent himself from verbally lashing out every time he was innocently asked about his relationship status.

In all honesty, he was having trouble smiling for the cameras, he was always the last to laugh at a joke, because his mind was too far away to fully comprehend what people were saying. He attended lots of press conferences with Sydney by his side, and she was worried about him, he knew.

 

He couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

They all shared a hotel, everyone in the cast. Endless English accents grated on his nerves, and he clung to his daily phone conversation with Zach like a life belt.

 

“Chris, you need to get over yourself.”

 

He stared at her. Sydney’s girlfriend. She’d never spoken more than two words to him before, and now she was telling him to get over himself? He’d even forgotten to find out what her name was. Also, he was shirtless and still half-asleep. This wasn’t a winning conversation.

 

“Um, hi?” he ventured, after a decidedly awkward pause.

 

“Right, hi. Okay, I just need to tell you, I am used to dealing with male idiots who mope around because they can’t see their boyfriends. I work for a freaking _boy band._ But never have I seen a breakdown go to such lengths that a grown man is acting like a spocking teenage girl over something so stupid! You know that I was in a long distance relationship for four years? And that I am still in said relationship today? _You are going to live._ So stop being such a baby and get out of bed.”

 

He paused, taking in the influx of information.

 

“Do you work for One Direction?” he asked eventually.

 

“That’s not important. And it’s classified,” the girl said stiffly. “But yes.”

 

“Also, did you use Spock’s name as a curse word?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Have anything against swearing?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Good. Now get out of my fucking room.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him, obviously deeming his statement too stupid to be worth replying to. Then she made her way over to the bed, picked up a pillow, and whacked him over the head with it. Twice.

 

“Oh, and my name is Myra. Nice to meet you,” she said.

 

 _Then_ she left.

 

Chris was left a bit dumbfounded, to be honest. Also, he really missed Zach. Zach used to hit him over the head with their sofa cushions all the time, and it would turn into a pillow fight, raging on until one of them was straddling the other, and then they’d kiss until they were both breathless…

 

God, he felt Zach’s absence like a physical ache, cliché as that was.

 

But whatsername was right, he supposed. He was acting like a child about it, and he’d been able to function for years before Zach came along, and he’d be able to function now. After all, it was only for a few weeks.

 

He picked up the phone, and dialled the number he knew by heart.

 

“Hello?” the voice on the other end of the line sounded distinctly groggy. Oh, yeah. It was nighttime over there. Oops.

 

“Zach? I-I just needed to hear your voice. Sorry…I know it’s late and everything. I’ll hang up in second. Just…I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.” Chris could hear the smile in his boyfriend’s voice. “Which is why you’ve actually caught me on a plane.”

 

“Turn your phone off!” Chris replied instantly. He had a slight fear of electrical equipment on planes. And if Zach’s death was his fault…

 

“Relax, I’m fine,” Zach soothed him. “I’m on a plane…on my way to England!”

 

Chris contained the high-pitched squeal, but just barely. “Oh, my God! I can’t believe it! How’d you get my publicist to approve it?”

 

“I, uh, didn’t. You can thank Sydney; she’s helped me arrange it. And if you don’t want it to look…suggestive, then she’s agreed to pretend to date you. Like, if you want.”

 

“I don’t want,” Chris breathed. “Zach, I think it’s time.”

 

“Are you- are you sure? It was scheduled for May… I don’t want you to feel like I’ve forced you into anything…”

 

“Zach, these past few days have been hell for me. I’m not saying I want complete co-dependency, because that’s just impractical, and I have shreds of pride left to preserve. But I want to be able to travel the world with you by my side. I want to be on red carpets, knowing you’re next to me. I want to be able to support you in your career, to hold your hand when you get nervous…” He took a deep breath. “Zach, I want to come out.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> please kudos/comment/bookmark! :3  
> my tumblr is multifandomstylinson.tumblr.com


End file.
